“A vampire’s thirst can only be quenched
by the blood of their loved ones.”
"Loving the monsters always ends badly for the humans. It's a rule."
"Where does a vampire get all his jokes? From a crypt writer!"
"I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on three counts."
"A vampire, like a lady, never reveals his true age."